“Uptown Funk” has taken over the world and the web with over 1 billion views. A catchy tune complimented by a just as compelling music video has inspired a numbers of digital riffs. Including the Maldives’ very own “Island Funk” on the Kurumba YouTube channel.
Here is my list of the 6 top “Uptown Funk” renditions online…
Straight masterpieces
Stylin’, while in
Livin’ it up
1. ISLAND FUNK – [above]
3. SIGNING FUNK
5. FIT FUNK
The Maldives are renowned for diminutive islands (a plot of sand and a palm tree). But at some resorts, the “island” has diminished to nothing at all. Don’t worry…it’s not the often reported “sinking of the Maldives”. It’s just resorts bringing their guests closer to the alluring seascape and more remote from the rest of the world.
Gili Lankanfushi (above) was the one who started it all with their lagoon villas (and dedicated boats to ferry guests to and from their villas). And it still commands the destination topping, paragon of the concept, their Private Reserve.
Jumeirah then took the concept to a whole new level by making a stand-alone neighbourhood of water villas.
Now a small collection of room types not so much “marooned” as “maritime”. I excluded the “yachts” even the semi-permanent moored one (eg. The Rania Experience, Huvafenfushi’s Dhoni Suites) because it’s not quite the same even though they too are places to stay out in the middle of the water.
Thanks – again – Paola (who prompted the list and initiated the research).
1. Gili Lankanfushi – Crusoe Residence [above]
2. Velaa – Romantic Pool Residence
3. Jumeirah Dhevanafushi – Ocean Pearls
4. Jumeirah Vittaveli – Ocean Suite with Pool
5. Medhufushi – Lagoon Suite
6. Angsana Velavaru – In Ocean Pool Villa
7. Meeru – Honeymoon Suites
8. Waldorf Ithaafushi – Stella Maris Ocean Villa with Pool
8. Soneva Secret – Castaway Villa
Despite all of the things that the Maldives does have, the list keeps growing of the things that the Maldives inexplicably just doesn’t have (yet). Yes, it’s time for instalment #7 (see links on bullet titles for more details)…
An update to “Maldives, the Best Of” for Maldives National Day adds several new items. For a country so small, it sure commands a big number of superlatives. Not surprisingly, most concern its uncanny natural beauty and the throngs of visitors drawn to it from around the world (detail links in the title word of each bullet).
On the heels of the Maldives Complete index, I think it’s time for another Buzzfeed-inspired listicle. A Christmas list for every self-respecting Maldive water villa. Not surprisingly, the “Water Villa only” pioneer Gili Lankanfushi dominates the list with 3 mentions.
Pimp my water villa!
1. SLIDE – Gili Lankanfushi: Yes pleeeeeease!
2. HAMMOCK – One and Only Reethi Rah: The most expansive of the over water “floating” nets.
3. INDOOR/OUTDOOR POOL – Huvafenfushi: Great for the inner cat person (“I want to be outside, no inside, no outside…”)
4. DINING GAZEBO – Velaa: Your own over water dining room.
5. JETTY – Angsana Velavaru: Strolling along the jetties provide a front row “dry” seat to the maritime spectacles of the Maldives and Velavaru gives you your very own private one.
6. PRIVATE BEACH – Velaa: Surf and turf Maldives villa style.
7. PRIVATE OCEAN – Gili Lankanfushi: Private back areas in beach villas give you privacy, but in a water villa any passing boat can see you on your deck or swimming off it. But Gili offers your own private enclosed swimming area (mind you, it does become a bit less private at low tide when the water level drops).
8. GLASS FLOOR – Jumeirah Vittaveli: When being 10 feet from the water view trigger withdrawal pangs.
9. BOAT – Gili Lankanfushi: Your own private transport to your own villa island.
10. GLASS DINING TABLE – Six Senses Laamu: Best placemat ever.
The 7th of the 7th for 7 Wonders. Everyone knows the “7 Wonders of the World” (well, like the Seven Dwarfs, they always forget the last one like “Doc” or “Mausoleum at Halicarnassus”). In the age of listicles, there seems to be a “7 Wonders…” of jut about every description. Of course, a while back there was the “Seven Natural Wonders of the World” scam.
For Maldives fans, the latest of interest has to be the “Seven Wonders of the Underwater World”…
One might argue that Maldives is glaring by its omission. But I have always thought that the Maldives’ ultimate charm is not below the water nor above it. But right at the water’s edge. It occupies that magical balance not being mostly beneath (like the Great Barrier Reef and the Red Sea), nor being quite high above (like the Galapagos or much of the South Pacific). If you are looking for that wonder that is right on the edge of aquatic and atmospheric, the Maldives commands a list of only 1.
1. Get Engaged – Conrad Rangali Maldives. Mastering neutral buoyancy to get down on one knee.
2. Get Married – Centara Grand. Buddy breathing for life.
3. Run the Country – In 2009, the President held an underwater Cabinet meeting to highlight the risks of global warming.
4. Build a Reef – A number of resorts (eg. Kandooma, Four Seasons Landaa Giraavaru, Four Seasons Kuda Hura, Kurumba) now offer Reefscaping which involves attaching small pieces of coral onto support frame which allows them to grow
5. View an Art Exhibit – Soneva Fushi. New meaning to “Watercolours”.
6. Shoot a Movie. LUX Maldives. Life Aquatic sequels galore.
7. Celebrate the Holidays. Anantara Kihavah. Eau Christmas Tree, eau Christmas tree…
GlassFest started yesterday featuring every imaginable translucent creation. But for the bottom line (or should I say ‘bottom plane’?) on glass, then the heartland of glass flooring is the resorts of the Maldives featuring portals to the aquatic wonderland below. When you come to the islands, so enchanting is its beauty above and beneath the water, you just don’t want to take your eyes off it. And the resorts there do everything possible do that you don’t have to. Here are a collection of the best in every imaginable nook and cranny of an over water stay…
1. ENTRYWAY – Lily Beach: Clearly welcome matt (Deluxe Water Villa)
2. SITTING ROOM – Velassaru: Set yourself down, put your feet up, and enjoy the scenery (Water Suite).
3. LIVING ROOM – LUX Maldives: Scotch and water anyone? (LUX Villa)
4. DINING ROOM – Conrad Rangali Maldives: Up there you be on da plate… (Sunset Water Villa)
5. STUDY – Conrad Rangali Maldives: And glass desktop to boot so nothing stands in the way of oceanic inspiration to your writing… (Retreat Water Villa)
6. BEDROOM – Iru Fushi: G’nite Anchor, g’nite Chum. G’nite John-boy. (Water Villa)
7. BATHROOM – Vadoo: What’s taking you so long in there (are you watching the fish instead of getting ready)? (Sunrise Water Villa)
8. BATHTUB – Anantara Kihavah: Great view of fish for bathers (maybe the view for the fish is not so great). (Over Water Pool Villa)
9. TOILET – Four Seasons Landaa Giraavaru: WATER Closet. Beats a newspaper. (Sunrise Water Villa with Pool)
10. OUTDOOR SHOWER– Anantara Kihavah: Note to fish – don’t look up. (Over Water Pool Villa)
11. MASSAGE ROOM – Conrad Rangali Maldives: Feel like floating away. (Overwater Spa)
12. INDOOR DECK – Gili Lankanfushi: Right this way to see the marine life…(Private Reserve)
13. OUTOOR DECK – Jumeirah Vittaveli: For those people who don’t live on the edge… (Lagoon Suite)
14. POOL – Coco Palm Dhuni Kolhu: Pool with a 360 degree view. (Lagoon Villa)
15. MEZZANINE – Huvafenfushi: You don’t need an ocean under you to provide a glass floor view of the water (Two Bedroom Beach Pavilion)
16. BOAT – Paradise Island: And even a mobile glass floor for those guests on the move (Glass Bottomed Boat)
600+ Best Ofs and still no…
I’ve amassed such a collection of “Missing From” in the “Best of” catalogue, rather than wait till my traditional July trip wrap-up, I thought I would do a mid-term update. With last month’s announcement of Saudi development firm Best Choice’s $100 million investment in a resort on Vadinolhu island, they will have quite a generous budget to consider some broad ranging innovations….
ROMANCE
1. Wedding Swim Suits. Increasingly famous for not just the honeymoon, but the the actual ceremony itself with the rise of the destination wedding. While the “Trash the Dress” fad is once way to go swimming in your gown, a more elegant solution are these specially designed fashion suits.
2. Proposal Coach. LUX Maldives has a wedding coach, and Reethi Rah has featured an elaborate proposal, but how about someone geared up to coach the question popping itself like a proposal planner?
LODGING
3. Infinite Edge Water Villa pool. Maldives water villas have infinity pools. But none I have seen so deftly feature them to provide a seamless transition to the water below like this example at Banyan Tree Ungasan. Not even Ungasan sister resorts in the Maldives, Banyan Tree Vabbinfaru or Banyan Tree Madivaru.
4. Underwater Bedroom. After the experiment by Conrad Rangali in adapting its underwater restaurant to be a bedroom at night, this obvious combination of two Maldive resort wow factors – water villas and underwater features – seems an inevitability here. Especially with this proven design featured at The Manta Resort, on Pemba Island in Zanzibar.
INFRASTRUCTURE
5. Awesome Signs. I have seen some clever and useful signage around Maldives resorts, but this BuzzFeed piece shows how far one can go with clever, fun and romantic messages all of which are classic Maldives design points.
6. Glow in the dark path. Stars in the sky, the water and the wine glass so why not the walkways with this Pro-Tec Surfacing?
7. Underwater Custom Sculpture. In previous “haven’t seens”, I have noted “Underwater Sculture Garden” and Soneva Fushi did feature an underwater art exhibit, but Museo Subacuatico de Arte (MUSA) in Cancun illustrates how imaginative one could be.
8. Underwater webcam. Many resorts now have webcams on site primarily to provide live weather, but the real star of the show is the underwater world so why not a camera there. The new GoPro-stype cameras make this easier and cheaper than ever. Maafushivaru was going to do it, but nothing yet.
9. Jumping fountains. The Maldives resort have all sort of water features, but the latest n water fountains are the dynamic water jets providing a lively animation to the water (sometimes choreographed to music).
10. Heart Tubs – While Bandos spa has a heart shaped Jacuzzi, still looking for a more Pocono-esque villa tub on a similar romantic motif.
11. Champagne Glass Tub – And if you want to go full-on Poconos, there is always the iconic champagne glass tub.
WATER ACTIVITY
12. Powerski Jetboard. There’s jet skiing. There’s a range of boarding – surf, paddle, wake, etc. But no “jet boarding” yet.
13. Water Car-Slides. Saw these by the shore in Spain. Turbo fun.
14. In-Lagoon massage. Signature offering of Iceland’s famous Blue Lagoon. Given the pre-eminence of Maldives’ own very blue lagoons and the popularity of the spas, this combo seems inevitable.
15. Water Tube Slide. Pool slides aplenty, and even a water slide at One & Only Reethi Rah, but no classic tube slide. The Dolphin Plunge at Disney, which goes underwater with clear Perspex, is particularly inspired.
16. Lazy River. If you are going to go with water park inspiration, then the staple fixture of the “lazy river” would seem to fit right into the Maldivian pace.
17. Underwater Virtual House Reef Tour. The Ministry of Tourism needs to get on the phone to Google to get Google Street View Oceans to do a few Maldives reefs or some enterprising resort could take the initiative and do one themselves to lead the way.
18. Submersible Radio-Controlled Submarine. So much fun. And a great way for non-swimmers to explore the dazzling reefs with a live Go-Pro attached.
OTHER ACTIVITY
19. Non-Resort Male Snorkel Day Trip. One of the most common questions on the online travel forums is “Is there a snorkelling day trip we can take from Male?” Typically, people who have a flight stop over or more frequently a cruise anchoring.
20. Zip Line. False alarm of reports that Reethi Rah had one in conjunction with their climbing wall. Having one that could be put up and taken down that went across the water to a neighboring island would be pretty cool.
21. Nail Art – A manicure or pedicure is a cosmetic treat and they have gotten quite elaborate of late. Check out the rendition of the Maldives water villa (below left).
22. Opera. A number of top flight resorts have featured all sorts of cultural events from guest DJs to literary festivals. But a classic (or should I say “classical”) fare of distinctive outdoor venues is opera. From the Minack (see Lori below in the perfectly set Minack production of Madame Butterfly) to the Bregenze Festival, a dazzling landscape provides a backdrop a stirring as the music itself. As it happens, one of the world’s top artistic directors, Francisco Negrin, for opera is a massive Maldives aficionado so I’m sure you wouldn’t have to twist his arm too hard to secure his leadership of such a project.
23. Air Swimmers. If a resort teen club had one of these “Air Swimmers”, I would definitely try to sneak in so I could play with it.
SPORT
24. In Water Spinning. Fitness craze made for the Maldives.
25. Beach Gym. Costa del Sol beach fitness course.
26. Paddle Tennis Court. Tennis, only smaller…just right for the diminutive Maldives islands (and for the more laid back atmosphere where you don’t want to run around as much). Palm Beach has a beach version though.
27. Pickleball. Paddle tennis, only smaller still? Supposedly “America’s fastest growing sport”.
28. Surfboard Yoga. Two popular activities in the Maldives combined. And probably one of the best places in the world for the combo given the mill pon tranquil waters of the area.
29. Tennis Ball Boy Service – I always thought that would be cool to play tennis and have someone fetch my many stray balls and toss them to me before each serve. Plus it would feel like Wimbledon to play a game with a ball boy/girl lined up at the side of the net ready to swipe my serves into the net.
30. Finning. Exemplary core/abs exercise.
31. Underwater Portraits – Resorts feature underwater photography for diving and portraits for weddings, so why not combine both for memorably artistic images exploiting the crystal clear turquoise settings of the Maldives’ famous lagoons?
DINING
32. Expanding Towel Tablet. The very first gesture that a resort extends is the refreshing towel. And it carries on through much of your stay. This expanding towel table provides an especially fun variation on the presentation.
33. Maldivian Cooking Vlog. Cooking vlogs are the niche rage and a number of resorts’ blogs to feature special gourmet and local cuisine recipes, but as yet know one has pulled out the videocam to guide visitors through the culinary steps.
34. Instant Ice Cream. The innovation by the molecular cooking crowd of making while-you-wait ice cream by dipping custard into liquid nitrogen as now gone mainstream by people like Chicago’s i-Cream. A bit of drama and accented freshness (mind you I guess there is not much problem with ice cream going bad) to this “next generation” custard concoction.
DRINKS
35. Flower Cubes. Ice cubes with flowers frozen in them. Genius.
36. Molded Cocktail Ice. Sushi Samba uses finely crushed ice which is compressed between a cup and large spoon to fashion a sort of frozen “bowl” shape into which condiments and garnishes can be sprinkled.
37. Kids Drink Decorations – A step beyond maraschino cherries and umbrellas…
The Maldives attracts celebrities of all types including famous athletes. After London 2012, a few luminaries like Michael Phelps and Roger Federer popped down for a chill out, so maybe a number of the Sochi stars will now make their way down to escape the chill.
Sochi has shown that a seaside resort can host the Winter Olympics so to make them feel at home why not the Maldives Winter Olympics?…
1. SKELETON – One & Only Reethi Rah
2. SKI JUMPING – Velassaru
3. BOBSLED – Kurumba
4. SKIING – Jumeirah Vittaveli
5. LUGE – Gili Lankanfushi
6. BOARDING – Four Seasons Landaa Giraavaru
7. HOCKEY – One & Only Reethi Rah
Buzzfeed is the latest Internet frenzy and I admit that I have subscribed to their daily feed of wacky lists and other esoterica. ‘Top X lists’ have always been a hit on the Internet but Buzzfeed have really perfected the craft. I’m in fact working on an e-book titled “The Best of the Maldives” which features a collection of “Top Ten” lists for a broad assortment of categories drawn from the “Best of the Maldives” oeuvre. But for now, I thought I would take a bit of Buzzfeed inspiration for one of my own lists narrated by everyone’s favourite crustacean, Sebastian…
“Under the sea / Under the sea / Darling it’s better / Down where it’s wetter” – Little Mermaid
1. Guess who’s gon’ be on the plate
The first and still the most spectacular under da sea Maldives feature with its 180 degree all glass surround, Conrad Rangali Maldives’ Ithaa restaurant was the pioneer which started it all. Now the tables are turned with the fish looking in at the diners ensconced in their aquarium.
2. You dream about going up there
Conrad Rangali didn’t stop at dinner. A few years on, they realized that they could double their utilization of this amazing space by clearing out the dining tables and moving in a bed. Unfortunately, the logistics got too demanding and they have since ceased this offer.
3. Life is the bubbles
You can lie down and relax (and if you are like me, doze a bit) at Huvafenfushi’s underwater spa. Fish pedicures are not on the menu.
4. An’ oh that blowfish blow
NIYAMA’s “Deep Six” lounge turns into a nightclub. Have yours with a splash.
5. Darling it’s better down where it’s wetter
Anantara Kihavah Villa’s underwater function room is used for weddings and other special events like wine tastings from its 6,500 bottle wine cellar. Cheers!
6. Just look at the world around you
Hurawalhi has added it’s own larger grander life aquatic eaterie which is the biggest in the world.
7. The seaweed is always greener in somebody else’s lake
What more could you do? What could the future hold? The firm Dutch Docklands created concepts for a underwater linked links. Should help to find your ball in the water hazard. Wait, the entire golf course is a water hazard.
Under the sea
Under the sea
Since life is sweet here
We got the beat here
Naturally