Maldives QI, Part 4

Maldives coconut

Having recently had a beer with a writer from QI and keeping up the humour, I thought it time for the next installment of ‘Maldive QI’…

  • Q: Where do you find the ‘Maldives Coconut’?
  • A: Maldives?
  • Buzzzz!

The ‘Maldives Coconut’ is very much a part of the Maldives history, but curiously not part of the Maldives itself. Der Spiegel recently did a piece on the intriguing nut

“The captain surely imagined it all a little differently. The French adventurer Francois Pyrard intended on sailing to India in 1602. But when his ship Corbin gave out on the open seas, he had to seek refuge in the Maldives. Unfortunately, the king there wouldn’t let the shipwrecked party leave for five years. When Pyrard and his crew were finally able to flee, they took the tale of the strange fruit with them back to Europe. It had been found frequently on the beaches of the islands. It wasn’t just that they were gigantic, the fruit’s shape was also reminiscent of a woman’s pelvic region. The king demanded that these alluring finds be delivered directly to him, and threatened that those who didn’t comply would lose a hand, or even be put to death. What Pyrard saw was the nut of the Coco de Mer palm, one of the rarest palm trees on the planet, also known as the Lodoicea maldivica. It is three to four times as large as an average coconut. They are also heavier than anything comparable that biologists can find, weighing up to 20 kilograms (44 pounds).”

It actually grows in the Seychelles, but makes its way to its namesake islands (“maldivica”) floating on the Indian Ocean waters which may account for its colloquial name, ‘Coco de Mer’. Der Spiegel describes this intriguing species in some detail on the occasion of the Botanical Garden in Berlin succeeding in germinating it. Despite its rather fertility-suggstive appearance, it is actually dubbed the ‘Panda of the Plant World’ for its difficulty in growing.

I researched the beguiling nut talking to Verena Wiesbauer Ali who not only helped with the previous QI pieces, but also co-authored the first definitive picture guide to the flora of the Maldives ‘Maldives: Trees and Flowers of a Tropical Pardise’. There are dozens of various guide books to the underwater delights of the islands, but this is the first that provides a comprehensive catalogue with dazzling colour photos for land lubbers. You can get a copy by writing to the co-authour Peter Dittrich (25 Euros) to find out what coconut palms and every other type of colourful and curious tree and plants that do grow there.

Maldives Tree and Flowers

Best of the Maldives: Laughter – Club Med Kani

Club Med Kani shows

 

 

If you like a good laugh, then Club Med Kani is the top yuckster hang out in the Maldives. While tranquillity and quiet seem to the norm and aspiration for many Maldives resorts, I was struck by the truly boisterous energy (in the main areas…there are plenty of peaceful areas across the island) at Kani when I visited. Laughter in pool, in the games area, around the bar.

But the in the evenings, the resort undertakes its most ambitious humour with regular comedy shows. First of all, putting on comedy to a mulit-cultural crowd is a massive challenge. There is of course the language issue not mention the various cultural variations prevailing senses of humour. As a result, the entertainment does tend to devolve to the lowest common denominator of slapstick with liberal use of the language-independent mime. But beyond these fundamental challenges, I was stuck by the enthusiasm with which the guests embraced these shows. At many resorts, entertainment evenings are a tick-in-the-box distraction that draw a few semi-interested guests. But at Kani, the purpose-built the theatre area is regularly packed out with a lively audience.

LOL!

Best of the Maldives: Underwater Massage – Kurumba

underwater massage

If a sliver of sand is not close enough to aquatic blissful relaxation, then Kurumba’s underwater scuba massage treatment (launched today!) should literally soak away the stress. Aprille Phoulle of the Veli Spa explained…

“Many of our divers get a whole range of muscle soreness and tensions from having heavy tanks on their backs. We figured why not provide the soothing treatment they need in the environment they love. Sure, more and more resorts are offering underwater spas and restaurants, but we are the first to go truly underwater with our services. At our latest underwater management meeting (modelled after the government’s cabinet meeting) decided to literally take to plunge. Customers have the choice of a table massage (anchored to the lagoon floor) or a ‘free floating’ treatment. The latter combines the benefit of a ‘flotation tank’ as the clients are set at neutral buoyancy. Due to the warm tropical waters of the Maldives, it is quite comfortable diving in just a t-shirt and trunks making it easy for the PADI-certified therapist to work those sore muscles (not mussels). We use only the finest Ayurveda, eco-friendly fish oils like ‘Tranquility Tuna’ and ‘Box Fish Bliss.’ The treatment also naturally includes something that has become a popular pedicure treatment in Europe, fish depilation, as wrasses delight in gently nibbling at the dead skin especially the crispy, sunburnt type. A tank of air is just right for a half-hour session.”

The Euro-Diver dive centre has also collaborated with the Veli Spa on a range of other treatments designed for the diver set such as the “Nitrox Detox” and the “Scuba Scrub”. They are also working with PADI to develop a range of new specialty skills that can be combined with ‘Underwater Massage’ such as ‘Compressed Air Aromartherapy’ for a ‘Dive Therapist’ certification.

Best of the Maldives: Remote Massage – Four Seasons Landaa Giraavaru / Kuda Huraa

Four Seasons remote massage

I’m loving this beach relaxation run this week. And just when you thought you couldn’t get more relaxed on a stretch of sand, up steps the Four Seasons with their Sandbank Massage.

The excursion is limited to guests their of Four Seasons Explorer yacht.

“Guests can have their treatment on board Four Seasons Explorer or on a sandbank nearby where the boat anchors. The sandbank location really depends on the route the boat is taking hence it is not always the same one. The guest will be dropped off with the therapist on the sandbank to enjoy the treatment in privacy.”

Full range of treatments from the signature ‘Kuda Huraa Massage’ (“A blend of specialised techniques from all over Asia – Thai pressure point, Filipino hilot, Malaysian urut”) to the ‘Sun Soother’ (“Hydrating and cooling fresh aloe vera gel, toning lavender mist, and lavender lotion are featured in this tropical wrap”). Prices range from $140 for 60 minutes to $225 for 120.

Four Seasons Landaa Giraavaru sand bar massage

Best of the Maldives: Beach Cabana – Kuredu

Kuredu Beach hut

 

 

You can carry on sleeping on the beach during the day with Kuredu’s beach hut cabana. If the Fatboy is not enough comfort for your shore-side lounging. You can book if for half a day for $50. A number of resorts have four-posted awnings and even mattressed loungers on the beach, but Kuredu’s cabana is just a bit more protected against beeezes or sun for those who have sensitive skin and really need to stay out of it. I also thought that it would be a great place to settle into with a very small child whose sensitive skin you would want to protect and the sheltered shade might help them nap too.

Decadent daytime dozing…

Best of the Maldives: Beach Sleep – Kanuhura

Kanuhura beach bed

 

 

Sometimes it’s taken me so long to get out of a sand trap that I might as well as have checked-in for a proper stay. Well, at Kanuhura I can stay in the sand all night long…

“Enjoy a Dinner, a Night and breakfast like Robinson Crusoe. A romantic night under the stars on Kanuhura's very own secluded desert island. Indulge in a sumptuous dinner of the freshest grilled seafood and meat dishes, prepared specially for you in an intimate candle-lit beach setting on neighbouring Jehunuhura Island. Then sleep peacefully under the stars in a private petal strewn canopy bed arranged on the powder-fine sand. You'll be star struck with distant views across the ocean of twinkling constellations and glimmering light of the moon, while the gentle lapping of the waves will lull you blissfully to sleep. In the morning you'll awake refreshed, with the uninterrupted vistas of the brilliant turquoise lagoon and swaying palm leaves around you, and a delicious Champagne Breakfast prepared for you on a totally secluded beach on your own little paradise.”

A number of times, my family have gone to the beach in the evening and just lied down on the sand to gaze up at the sky awash with stars while listening to the calm surf gently ticking the beach edge. After a busy day, we’d just as easily just drift off right then and there. Kanuhura’s offering provides just a touch more elegance and creature comfort for such dozing al fresco.

Starlit slumber.

Best of the Maldives: Golf Course – Shangri-La Villingili

Shangi-La Villingili golf course

Well, it’s about time.

As I’ve discussed before, the absence of a proper scale golf course is one of (if not *the*) major inhibitor to prospective high visitors to the Maldives. Today, Shangri-La Viligili has plugged that gap opening the first full sized (well short par 3s…more of an ‘Executive’ course, but bigger than the Kuredu pitch-and-putt) golf course in the Maldives. Minivan reports

“The nine hole course sits on seven-and-a-half hectares of previously undeveloped land at the southern end of Villingili Island. Most holes par three and average 123.4 yards in length, and are set amongst the island’s natural veggetation including of palms, pandanus and other tropical plants. The course includes a clubhouse, refreshment bar and a pro shop. ‘It’s a recreational course, not a professional course,’ explained Shangri-La’s Assistant Communications Manager, Cristina Acenas. ‘It is accessible to beginners but advanced golfers will also enjoy it.’”

It might not end there if the plans for a fully engineered ‘floating course’ with underwater connections comes to light…

Well played, Shangri-La.

Best of the Maldives: Sandcastles – Kuredu

Kuredu sandcastle 1

If you need a visit from Mr. Sandman, then Kuredu has its very own. But he has nothing to do with sleeping. Unless it is a sculpture of a sleeping lady with a horse (?) like the photo above. A whole collection of sand scuptures were created on Kuredu by on of their chefs at the Far East restaurant named Dej. His other works (which you can see on Kuredu’s Facebook gallery) include

The executions are not just masterful, but the subjects are creative concoctions in their own right. The pieces reminded me of my younger days growing up by the beach in Ipswich, Massachusetts which held celebrated annual sand castle making contest. Below is a snap from the Lori and I assistned our artist friends George Karalias and Peter Manos put together a team to build the climactic scene from the ‘Grinch That Stole Christmas’.

Crane sandcastle 3

Best of the Maldives: Spa Hours – Niyama

Niyama 24 Hour Spa

If your ‘dreaming of Maldives’ gets interrupted while you are dreaming IN the Maldives, the Niyama can still keep you from toss and turning and provide a relaxation treatment to help you out. Or you can try to burn off some off that restless energy at their gym..

“A first in the Maldives, LIME Spa at NIYAMA will be open 24 hours. Treatments will utilise and infuse indigenous holistic components from around the globe to create unique experiences. LIME will include his and her beauty salons, a contemplation garden and Quench, the juice bar. Each of these areas will be designed to heighten guests’ relaxation, allowing them to enjoy the tranquillity and space around them. PUMP the 24 hour gym will be equipped with state of the art gym equipment for those looking to maintain their routine or try something new.”

To some a 24-hour spa might seem a bit pointless, but I can imagine many scenarios where it would be a godsend. For starters, many people visit the Maldivse from far and wide. Very far…which can mean big time jet lag. You can’t sleep, but what can do you? The other scenario is a very real danger that my wife Lori and I have been hit with a number of times…over-relaxation. Yes, I know some of you would find this malady inconceivable and have a virtually genetic immunity to it. But, a number of times my wife and I have woken up at crazy hours unable to sleep and the sense was that we had just over done the relaxation. Between the sleeping in, lounging on the beach, and dozing by the pool, we just could manage any more shut-eye in the day (or night).

Best of the Maldives Online: Videos – Dreaming of Maldives

Dreamin of the Maldives videos

Facebook, Twitter, Forums, Foursquare…all of this look a social media and I have not yet looked at one of the big ones, YouTube.

As it happens, the best eye to Maldivian spectacle has expanded his lens from photography to videography recently. Sakis Papadolpolous now has a collection of video vignettes for resorts he has produced available not just on his own Dreaming of Maldives site, but also on Vimeo and his own YouTube channel. They are simply the best resort videos going. Sakis does produce some seriously beautiful staged ‘mood’ shots to highlight a languid hammock or a tantalising cocktail. But he also includes plemty of panoramic material which provides a good perspective on the look and feel of the landscape itself and facility itself.

Since the inception, I have included a video of the resort in the main Profile page if there was a decent video available on YouTube. I limited myself to YouTube do to the ease of embedding into the Profile page. I limited myself to’decent’ because I loathe those fake slide-show “videos” (in air quotes) which are just the picture gallery set to music with some tired transitions. Many of my resort clips were guests simply doing a walk through to capture a feel for the resort for their friends or their own memories. Production quality not be much, but their utility and effectiveness to give people an authentic feel for the resort is invaluable.

Video is definitely taking over the web. A decent video of your resort is as much online table-stakes as an FAQ, map of the island and contact details.

I’ve now changed the videos in the Profiles to Sakis’ pieces for the resorts that he has done so far – Six Senses Laamu, Huvafenfushi, Dhonakulhi Island Hideaway and Lily Beach. Hopefully, more resorts will produce such vivid illustrations and hopefully, they will all use Sakis’ artistic talents to do so.