One of the appeals of snorkeling and swimming in the Maldives is the mill pond calm waters of the sea stilled by the atoll reef topology. But any body of water, including your bathtub, can be a drowning risk. Not surprisingly, for a country 99% water, the biggest cause of fatality for guests to the country is drowning. Perhaps seduced by the placid feel, people can literally get in over their head. To help reduce the risk of snorkellers getting into trouble (or just to provide a place where they can stop and rest and maybe chat easily with their snorkel buddy), Hard Rock and SAii Lagoon have placed hi-vis floatation rings at the lagoon snorkeling spot (where they have placed a few underwater items to attract fish and provide visual interest in an area which is, and always has been, most sandy shoals.
How to Interpret a Resort Review
Ratings are often the first thing people turn to in deciding on their resort of choice, but these handy shorthands are also fraught with biases and confusion. I thought I would pull back the curtains a bit on these metrics and badges to makes then easier to use and interpret when research your perfect resort.
- Industry star ratings indicate how many boxes a property has ticked against a list of criteria
- Social media star ratings (mostly) indicate how a property has performed against expectations.
- Industry awards are (mostly) just pay-for-cachet shills.
INDUSTRY STAR RATINGS
Traditional “star” ratings (eg. “5-star hotel”) were developed by industry bodies and were determined by a methodical list of criteria. The advantage to this approach is that is objective. The problem was that the checklist reflects quantitative metrics, but not qualitative aspects. It counts things like the number of electrical sockets and whether the bathroom has a bidet, but doesn’t assess the quality of design, materials, aesthetics, etc. Resorts quickly learned to game this system by installing the cheapest versions of anything that would tick the assessor’s boxes to get a coveted “5-star” designation for a fairly chintzy property.
SOCIAL MEDIA REVIEW RATINGS
The Internet and social media introduced the notion of crowd-sourced reviews. The stars that visitors gave were anything but methodical or defined. The reviews were completely haphazard with “1-star: Terrible” reviews going to exceptional properties who made one slip-up during their visit, and “5-star: Excellent” reviews going to mediocre properties visited by people who were just delighted to be on holiday or wanted to boast to the world how amazing it all was.
The notion is that a savvy reader will dismiss the outliers and focus on the shape of the score histogram (eg. shifted more heavily to positive or negative side). Social media does add the richness of two features: (a) the text review itself (so you can drill down into the specifics of the assessment as make your own judgement about whether the attributes focused on concern you or the assessment seems justified), and (b) the authority of the writer (based on reputational scoring like “Helpful” votes).
Seth Godin articulates this dynamic well in this piece “I Hate This Restaurant” (and this is just the inadvertent failure ignoring the deliberate toxic practice of social media extortion where people find tiny failings and demand a big discounts or compensation under threat of them unleashing their condemnations all over social media):
- ·If you look at many 1-star reviews (of books, of music, of restaurants) this is precisely what you’re going to see. A mismatch of expectations. A mismatch that is blamed, completely, on the person who created the work, not the critic. It doesn’t matter that the thing was clearly marked. It doesn’t matter that the thing was extraordinarily well-produced. And it doesn’t matter if just about everyone else experiencing it was thoroughly delighted. Because for this spoiled, under-informed and impatient patron, it failed.”
As a result of this “expectations driven” reviewing, many resorts have shifted the direction of their approach to ratings. Instead of trying to goose their rating as high as possible with covering the official bases as expediently as possible, now many properties voluntarily downgrade the advertised “rating”. So they might officially be a “5 star” property, but they advertise as a “4+ star”. That way, guest come expecting one standard of quality, but find a higher than expected one. Exceeding such expectations is the key to strong social media ratings. Better to be a 4-star on the profile but a 5-star on TripAdvisor, than visa-versa.
INDUSTRY BODY AWARDS
Whatever you do, dismiss the press releases and website merit badges from industry awards (eg. “Best Hotel in the Indian Ocean by the So-So-So Travel Group”). Said industry body charges X-thousand dollars for a resort to buy a table at their award ceremony and pretty much makes sure that everyone who attends, walks away with an award. In fact, in some cases, the more awards a resort flaunts, the more likely they are trying to cover up major inadequacies by buying endorsements (Yes, I know, I have featured some awards on the website and my email signature, BUT I did not pay anything for these and would never).
So with all of these review shortcomings, how is one to assess the quality of a resort in researching a holiday? I do check out the social media ratings (mostly TripAdvisor). I look at the shape of the star distribution (eg. how many 1-stars, how many 2, etc…). I will take a peek at a couple of 1-star reviews our of curiosity to see if they had identified anything truly serious, but in nearly all cases it is just the rambling trolling of a disaffected whinger. I do select for the most highly rated reviewers (eg. most Helpful votes) as these folks are likely to have sensible perspective so that their review will share useful insights.
Best of the Maldives: Upcycled Table – Amilla
Furniture can be just as artistic as paintings and sculpture. It is sort of a living, functional sculpture which makes experiencing it all the richer. My favourite art is those pieces with a story as enchanting as its aesthetics. Like Amilla’s upcycled dining table in their Mystique Garden. The resort hosts chef’s garden meals there. The table itself has been made out of reclaimed wood from the island’s previous jetty. So you are dining in the middle of the island, eating produce from all around you, sitting on part of the island’s history.
Best of the Maldives: Built-In-Sand Dining – KIHAA Maldives
Many resorts now offer the in-sand dining experience, but Kihaa Maldives has installed a bit more elaborate and permanent seating in the beach making it easier to set up such special meals.
Best of the Maldives: Reception Large Chair – SAii Lagoon
While you’ve got a whole holiday of stretching out and lounging, too often reception area have pretty basic seating, I guess, to prepare you for the shock of sitting in a confined seat for hours on the plane. But SAii Lagoon has the biggest reception chairs we’ve ever gotten swallowed up in (photo above). It reminded me of the feature item in Copenhagen’s renowned Design Museum which itself jumbo sized (photo below with Lori as well). Great for bringing out the kid in you (or at least looking like it on Instagram…and it makes those holiday extra pounds look less prominent).
Best of the Maldives: Largest Private Island – Ithaafushi
The Maldives pioneered the concept of “one island, one resort”, and now it is also leading the notion of “one island, one guest” (well, one guest group/party). The notion of a “private island” (one guest rents out the entire resort island) is getting bigger, and the biggest to date is Waldorf Astoria Ithaafushi’s entrée. At 32,000 sqm, it is bigger than 20 other full resort islands.
The island booking includes a dedicate chef and concierge as well as…
- “Mix a slow-paced island getaway with action-packed adventures. The island features a private entertainment clubhouse, spa, gym, watersports, and playground. This is an unrivalled Maldivian experience.”
Maldives From Space
The bird’s eye view of the Maldives is one of the highlights of the destination and you don’t get much higher than the European Space Agency’s “Observing the Earth” application. This video a strikingly vivid satellite perspective of the Male area (with a rather banal narration).
Best of the Maldives: Herons – LUX North Ari Atoll
Every resort island seems to have a few resident herons who have staked out their territory in the shallows patiently waiting for the wayward bait fish to nab and otherwise strolling with an uncommon deliberation. But, if you wonder where they come from, LUX North Male Atoll actually has a heron nesting site. The construction of the property preserved the site where at least 10 resident herons come to birth their chicks on a secluded part of the island that is cordoned off from guests (a little privacy in the marine maternity ward).
Best of the Maldives: Maldivian Veg – Amilla
While the Maldives destination is known for its distinctive blues, at Amilla’s “Mystique Garden” also features a cornucopia of Maldivian greens. And initiative of Sustainability Manager Victoria Kruse (see above) who has collected an extensive range of local produce to grow and feature in all the resort’s cuisine including:
- Moringa Drumstick – A ‘super food’ with leaves like spinash, roots like horseradish and use to make curry.
- Kullhafilafai – Like Maldivian dandelion (see photo directly below)
- Maldivian tea tree
- Loofa – While best known for its scrubbing, it is also produces a healthy veg.
What’s So Special About the Maldives?
You know those iconic cartoons of a deserted island with a plot sand and palm tree in the middle of the ocean…that’s the Maldives. A thousand of those.
The Maldives sits at that a magic elevation of pretty much exactly sea level. The Great Barrier Reef is just below sea level (hence very few islands and hardly any resorts). Tropical islands like Mauritius and the Seychelles *tower* above rising to hundreds of feet in the air. The Maldives rest right in the sweet spot. Virtually right at sea level like linen white sand rafts floating in the ocean. The interleaving of water and land in cozy embrace liken the destination to a tropical Venice.
And the elevation distinction goes in both directions – not just the height of the land, but also the shallow depth of the water surrounding the land. As a result, the lagoons have a mill pond stillness which makes for crystal clear water. You can enjoy the dazzling aquatic sights from above the water seeing all manner of colourful fish like a giant aquarium.
The ubiquitous reefs lurking near the water’s surface produce a mesmerizing seascape tapestry of blues that is otherworldly. It is one of those special places on Earth (like Iceland, Grand Caynon, Zhangye Danxia) that make you feel like you are not just on a remarkable part of the planet, but on another planet altogether.
The tininess of the islands and their proximity to not just the ocean but the aquatic wonderland within it, makes for a uniquely intimate connection with the sea that is rarely experienced. I have world traveling friends who go to all sorts of tropical resorts and they always report back to me, “This place is wonderful…but it’s not the Maldives!”
Happy Birthday Maldives (Independence Day today)!