36 TIHSYINTM (Things I Haven’t Seen Yet in the Maldives) #8

“Wedding Paddleboarding”. I guess that’s something coming to the new resort The Patina Thanburudhoo (according to the picture taken from its placeholder home page above).

I’m packing my final items for our 6^th Maldives tour starting in just 2 more “sleeps” (details on next post). I’m always on the lookout for things I haven’t seen yet in the 55 other resorts I have visited not to mention the countless hours of research, emailing, chatting, etc.

One marketplace as competitive as Maldives resorts is a sector of London pubs. Buzzfeed recently ran a listicle that featured bold steps various establishments are taking to make themselves stand out from the crowd and echoed many a “Best Of the Maldives” post.

Here is the latest instalment for resorts looking for that “remarkable” feature worthy of the Maldives…

Glow Path – Photoluminescence is a relatively rare and spectacular sight which went a bit viral over the past year. Resorts can actually offer a nightly star-like glow (in their own shade of blue) and help guests find their find in the night time darkness.
Glow-Table – For a touch of non-bio luminescence closer to home, how about a colourful glow table (I’m admittedly drawn to this creative innovation due to my fondness for the wild and rugged look of burr wood).
Glowing Toilet Seats – For an even more practical application of glow, something to help you find late night relief without disturbing the slumber of your partner by turning the bathroom light on (especially for some villas where the bathrooms are more integrated into the villa whole or there is just a glass division).
Underwater Pool Stool – For more grounded water seating (with a bit of its own luminescence) try the instant pool-side bar.
Rafts – Multi-purpose and sturdy air rafts could even serve as a floating bar or just your own little plot of paradise if the diminutive Maldivian island wasn’t small enough for you.
Pool Poof – Some people prefer to hog their own massive space to lie down. These Brookstone models come in more stylishly sedate colours to appease the lilo cynics).
Side-by-Side Lounger – But if you are on a more amicable basis with your companion, you might prefer the more intimate and friendly float…
Hydro Hot Tub – Instead of your lounger in the water, how about water in your lounger?? Hottub + Hammock. Best combo since peanut butter and chocolate.
2-Person Rocking Chair – Perhaps you prefer a drier seat to waft along to the sea breezes together. Two things the Maldives are famous for – indolence and romance. Enjoy both, literally, together.
Swing Seat – Or you could rock alone in a simple hammock-seat. The design is actually very reminiscent of the traditional Maldivian swing seat, but a bit more comfortable and stylish.
Sofa Swing – Or you could stretch out in something a bit more plush and roomy…
Zero Gravity Hammock Chair – Take it one step further – Chair + Umbrella + Hammock. Three great relaxation classics in one.
Portable Hammock – Something simpler to be able to move around like your beach chair.
Science Sleep – If all those comfy seats don’t relax you enough during the day, then how about a technologically enhanced night sleep? The maker With Things describes “It Tracks your nights [monitoring your heart rate and breathing]; understands your sleep. Sleep and nap programs. Wakes you up with a scientifically validated light & sound program at the best time of your sleep cycle.”
Tranquillity Pod – A sort of brute force version of Velaa’s “spa pod” with built-in massaging.
Specialised Pillows – A few decadent resorts now have pillow menus that allow you to choose your own pillow. But these options are fairly standard variations of fabric, softness and size. How about some *really* specialised pillows like the one below (the ones below are for people who sleep on their sides).
Night Surfing – If for whatever reason you just can’t sleep (maybe too much pool napping during the day), then how about some Night Surfing. The Maldives is most famous for snorkelling and a number of resorts offer night snorkelling excursions. But it is also getting to be a world renowned destination for surfing, so…
Wave Skiing – Another surf-hybrid, a cross between kayaking and surfing with specially designed boat.
Surf Kayaking – More of a kayak, but designed to ride the waves.
Foil Surfing – Or on the more extreme side, your own personal hydro-foil.
Jet Surfing – Something for those intra-atoll islands without the great surf breaks. This one has LUX Maldives written all over it…
Para-Inflatable – Inflatable rides are everywhere and many resorts offer parasailing, so what’s not to like…
Flying Underwater Wheelchair – Or you could fly…underwater. The sand and water can be a bit of an extra obstacle for the disabled, though many resorts have added a number of special facilities catering to their special requirements. None so spectacular as Sue Austin’s “flying underwater wheelchair” (yes, re-read that even though you did read it right the first time) which brings the whole “main event” of the Maldives dazzling reefs to life in the most dramatic way (looking at you Kurumba).
Swim With a Mermaid – Nearly as magical, Cheval Blanc’s sister resort at St. Barth features a “swim with mermaids” where “on a snorkelling expedition in Flamands Bay…the instructor gives the signal for Amaryllis the mermaid to appear for a game of hide-and-seek (…an expert freediver in a scaly fin suit).
Geo-Caching – Some prefer seeking out magical treasures on land and a number of resorts offer a range of clever treasure hunts for children, but popular geo-caching is provide a treasure hunt for adults and kids alike.
Locks of Love – Not only a surging trend in a number of cities, but also a gap in the romance market with dismantling of the Pont des Arts in Paris. One could treat the locks with the same substance Reefscapers uses on its reef frames and make the symbol of your love the basis for an eternal and vibrant reef. You would attach a coral regeneration fragment to it and lock it onto a chain link (also appropriately treated) set in the ocean.
Pool Petals – I’ve obviously had the bed petals and even bath petals, but how about pool petals?
Rock Pool – Pools have rock “Features”, but I haven’t seen an entire pool done in a natural motif replicating the feel of a fresh water mini-lagoon like this one at Sofitel in Tahiti for a more natural aesthetic.
In-Pool Cinema – Soneva Fushi pioneered the outdoor cinema which now features at a number of resorts, but this inflatable screen lets the audience combine Hollywood hits with floating in the pool.
Lagoon Bar – I’ve featured a few in-water experiences, but Seacrets in Ocean City, Maryland shows just how far you can go with this concept.
Chill Glass – A step beyond just a “chilled” glass, but a glass that keeps your drink extra cold for extra long. As someone for whom one criterion of the perfect pina colada is how cold it is, this innovation helps guarantee a flawless freeze.
Frozen Cocktails – I’ve already proposed frozen juice pops, but why aren’t these there (thanks Gareth)??
Snow Cones – A summer heat wave staple that could turn into a tropical treat with exotic fruit juices (looking at you Velaa).
Children’s Tasting Menu – The Michelin-starred Das Tue in Berlin features an 8-course tasting menu specifically for children “with the option to pair each course with organic grape juices (“To match the gutsiness of the gnocci with sage and Iberico ham, the sommelier suggests a cheeky Portugierer rose with hints of raspberries…” I’ve long advocated the appeal of the Maldives for families with children and this idea lets them taste a bit of gourmand gastronomy.
Floating Water Villas – Okay, Maldives…one word…”when?”